dc needs a cupcake reality show like bp needs another oil spill

in order for you to even begin to understand where i'm coming from, i need you to watch the video on the TLC website for "dc cupcake". if you haven't heard of this, it's the new reality show that follows the daily goings ons of our very own georgetown cupcake:

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/dc-cupcakes/

this video is the epitome of "hey lets script out as much information into an artificial conversation for camera as we possibly can so people are getting information AND enjoying this real, raw behind the scenes footage of the nasty trenches of boutique cupcake production in the slums of georgetown," if there ever was an epitome for such a thing.

i feel like in one 1:28 video, i know i've seen all there is to see, and acquired all original information regarding this cupcake business that there is to see and acquire, period. red velvet cupcakes are their thing, people work there, and as you know, people can be big meanies, and, what? it can get sorta busy from time to time? do we make a reality show for every business that is in a high density area and prone to high traffic?

if so, here are a list of new show ideas:
- "DC Hot Dog" (it's about hot dog vendors on street corners, since they have customers and it is sometimes busy)
- "DC Soccer" (it's about dc united, since they have fans that come to their games and it's sometimes crowded)
- "DC Homeless Guy (it's about a homeless guy, since he is on a crowded street)

i love the part at the beginning where they're all talking about numbers for the day. they're throwing around a LOT of of tradecraft terms, so i wanted to go over it and make sure we're on the same page.

cupcake: a small cake, the size of an individual portion, baked in a cup-shaped mold
dozen: it's just another term for a group of 12 something
chocolate, vanilla, red velvet: these are a few different flavors of cupcake made available for purchase in the store
running low: this is a term that many businesses, including cupcakeries use when supplies have been used up
popular flavor: this term is used to refer to the tastiest of all the cupcakes in the store

the video then cuts to the scene with the 2 owners and andres, the cupcake chef.

owner: "i'll let yasmine know to keep an eye. if we're ever running dangerously low, just tell her to let us kno--"
andres: "tell her to let me know... cause i definitely don't want her screaming at me when they're out of something"

woooooooah! taking leadership, andres! also, who does want someone screaming at them? is this really.... REALLY enough drama to create a tv show about?

i feel like the only thing i could possibly enjoy about this show is those stereotypical joys that anyone feels when they're watching a show in their hometown. "OH MY GOSH! did you see that? that was the corner of k and 11th... i've totally walked around that corner before. i can't believe that the owner of georgetown cupcake just walked there too! i wonder when they were filming."

moving on to later in the promo: "when are we getting red velvets?... we're out!"

whaaaaaaaaat! yasmine! that was your ONE job. did you not read the script... i mean, did you not completely and naturally do your job in front of the cameras? oh gosh. now, instead of doing the one job that you had, and probably would have done on any given day, and caused no drama... well... now that you didn't do your job there's all this drama. the last thing a reality show rookie like georgetown cupcake needs is drama.

i mean, yasmine, why didn't you speak louder? had you not even considered that there might be family members working in the same kitchen? cousins at that. your one mistake might even lead to tears in the kitchen. well, hopefully no one will get that upset--- oh wait, no, unpredictably that did happen.

HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP, georgetown cupcake is crumbling! i need my red velvet cupcakes! after all, its valentines day, and that's their "popular flavor".

ok. i'm going to go ahead and stop here. this is my frustration after only 1 minute and 28 seconds of footage from the show. please, please do not let me see more actual footage when it airs. my mind is blown in that what looks to be the crux of an episode is that someone didn't speak up in the kitchen and now they are out of one of their trims of cupcakes. this happens all the time in life. all the time:

"can i get that prius in red?"
"no sorry we only have it in grey with an obama sticker."

"can i get this house with a deck?"
"no the HOA says no decks."

"can i upgrade to first class?"
"no. just, no."

if you bear through to the second video, again, the only thing they mention is that, it's valentine's day weekend, they sell a lot of cupcakes, and that if people don't tell the kitchen when they're running out, they will be out.

(cue crickets)

we don't need a show about everything. can we please draw a line in the icing, somewhere?