bad day

i woke up feeling a bit out of it. yesterday i hadn't been feeling 100%, and today was no different. it would definitely take more than one hand to count the amount of years its been since i've been like down-and-out sick. i'm usually only afflicted with little things here and there that typically pass within a couple hours. i basically was feeling feverish all day. you know the feeling i'm talking about... where you feel lightheaded and your skin just sort of aches cause it can't make up its mind whether it's hot or cold. it kinda sucked.

it wavered. it came. it went. it didn't last long enough to warrant any delivered soup or someecards. but it was just annoying. and uncomfortable. and i know i'm whining. but this is my blog. and i'm allowed to complain. and write in artsy psuedo sentences. for extra effect.

so, take the blahness, and then layer in a lot of driving back-and-forth throughout the day, which i'm typically game for, except for when i'm feeling feverish. then, top everything off with someone rear-ending me on my way home from work.

ok. nbd you might be saying to yourself. i'm sitting here writing this, aren't i? yes, all things considered, it could be a lot worse. God did give me breath in my lungs this morning, and at least i have a car and a job, and great family and friends to come home to. all that considered, did my day still suck respectively? yes.

the fender bender started eating at me. i kept going back and forth as to whether or not i should file a claim through this guys' insurance. part of me felt like it was selfish of me to require all of this work and rigamrole for a couple scratches and holes in my bumper. on the other hand, its the kind of thing that i knew would bother me whenever i looked at it; plus, if i decide to sell it at any point, namely anytime soon, i'm going to lose money because of something that, to be fair, wasn't there when i left home this morning. so finally later this evening i elected to get it fixed and put in the lengthy call to my insurance company.

let the games begin. it's already been a fiasco with the insurance, with quotes from my claims adjustor like, "i've been doing this job for a long time and have never heard of this guy's insurance company." ...great. well, we'll see what ends up happening with that.

i guess the good thing about bad days though are that these days draw me closer to God. when hardships come, there's just something consistently comforting about God. all the sudden, i feel abandoned, or alone, and He comforts me. its easy to forget about God when things are going smooth. it's easier to pat myself on the back for a job well done. it's not really cool, and it's something i'm working on.

nonetheless, all i felt like i could do when my heart was feeling really dumb today was pray. so i prayed for it all. my car. my health. the weather. sick friends. heartbroken friends. a complicated housing situation. everything.

and that was what i was supposed to do. and i can't say that i all the sudden have amazing perspective and answers to all those prayers, but it was a step in the right direction to put my heart back in the right place. bad days can really derail good character. i'm glad God helped me reconcile some of my anger and restore my heart before the sun finally set... even if it was the sun in hawaii.